You just got engaged, you’re getting married, and now you’re planning the most epic day with your love. You think you found the perfect photographer… but then you inquire, only to receive a form email asking about the ‘bride and groom.’ Back to square one.
TBH, it can be so incredibly difficult to find LGBTQ+-friendly wedding vendors. When you don’t know who you can trust, it just makes planning your wedding that much more stressful.
The wedding industry is (and should be) about celebrating love–not tearing it down– but that doesn’t stop so many vendors from catering to hetero relationships only. The last thing you want is to find this out after you’ve paid a vendor and locked into a contract.
When you’re getting married, you deserve to have a circle of support and good vibes around you. That should include your wedding vendors.
As a queer wedding photographer, these are my best tips for finding vendors that are not just *okay with* taking money from queer couples but are wholehearted in their support of the LGBTQ+ community.
Jonathan and Ian’s Fall Wedding at A View At Fontenelle in Omaha
Look for Signs Your Wedding Vendor is Actually Queer Friendly (Not Just Performing It)
In the last few years, the wedding industry has made more effort to be more pro-LGBTQ+ but there’s still so much more work to be done. Since more people are talking about queer love, there are still so many vendors out there who put the “right” keywords but don’t really embody sincere support.
To make sure your vendor is genuine, spend a few minutes reading their website. You’ll quickly pick up on the cues their words are giving. Do they use gendered language everywhere? “Bride and groom,” and husband/wife instead of couples/partners/spouses are the biggest culprits. Do they ask for pronouns and avoid assuming anything about roles and traditions?
Spend time exploring their portfolio, too. If you only see straight couples, that could be a sign that they are, at worst, not queer-friendly or, at best, aren’t experienced in collaborating with queer couples. This can make a big difference in photography, especially since they may not be well-versed in posing a couple that isn’t “traditional”.
Someone who is really proud of and excited about working with the LGBTQ+ community will make a point of featuring galleries with queer couples. They’ll also talk about being queer-affirming in their social media regularly. (I make a point of talking about my support for the queer community regularly on my Instagram!)
And really, you shouldn’t have to dig for clues. If they really welcome the LGBTQIA+ community, it should be really freaking obvious from their online presence. If it’s not, that’s just as much of a sign.
Austin & Cole in their groom portraits at Joslyn Art Museum
Search Through Your Wedding Vendor’s Personal Social Media
If the wedding vendor has personal social media, don’t be afraid to do some searching. Check out their overall online presence and recent posts. Do their personal values seem to align with their public-facing business? Sometimes vendors can spout affirming messages on their business profile but not embody it in their personal lives.
When you do reach out to vendors, don’t be afraid to ask them about their experience working with LGBTQ+ couples and about their personal values. You’ll be able to tell from a conversation if they’re not just open to working with queer couples but are truly affirming and inclusive.
With the current administration stripping away rights, endangering lives, and perpetuating oppression, some things will just stand out as dog whistles. If the vibe feels off, listen to your gut.
A winter elopmenent on a private propery with June, Hal, and three of their friends.
Ask Friends and Family If They Can Recommend a Queer-Friendly Wedding Vendor
See who your friends or family worked with for their weddings. Ask them about not just their client experience and work but also their values. Was it clear to them that their vendor was queer-friendly? Your people will be honest and unfiltered with you (and hopefully help you avoid the disaster of choosing the wrong vendors).
If you don’t know anyone who got married in the area recently, show your friends and family some of the vendors you’re considering. They may also have opinions about whether they appear to be queer-affirming or if they just have a half-assed inclusivity statement on their website.
Sydney and Hannah’s Mountaintop Wedding at Halfway House Trail in Boulder, Colorado with a reception at The Night Owls Bar in Lakewood, CO
Talk To A Vendor You Trust for Vendor Recommendations
If you’ve already hired at least one wedding vendor you trust, ask them for recommendations. They’ll be happy to share details, and even steer you away from vendors who aren’t inclusive.
If you’re considering a vendor that’s not on their recommendation list, ask them if they’re familiar with their work. Word of mouth is an underrated but important way to see if the vendor you’re considering is LGBTQIA+-friendly.
This is something I happily do for the couples I work with!
Here are a few trusted vendors I recommend:
Florist: Loess Hills Floral Studio – Rhonda did the flowers for my wedding and I’ve worked with her for years!
Custom Wedding Attire: Hannah Caroline Couture – Hannah designs custom dresses and suiting for people of all sizes. I highly recommend her, especially if you’re looking for less traditional attire for your wedding.
Cake: The Butterfly Bakery – Queer-owned bakery with delicious cakes. They often call themselves a gaykery!
Wedding Planning & Coordination: Divine Events By Rayna – Incredible planner and my fellow cofounder at VOW Omaha.
Videography: Lathrop Wedding Company – My fellow cofounder at VOW Omaha who I’ve worked with on many weddings.
Venue: Castle Unicorn – Queer-owned, beautiful castle venue.
Makeup: Hannah Kuhary – Beautiful work every time.
Hair: Beauty Bash Omaha – Did my hair for my own wedding!
Music: Mahr String Quartet – Beautiful strings. I’ve worked on many weddings where they played.
Officiants: L&Co Officiants – A team of inclusive officiants who even offer Spanish-speaking services.
A queer micro wedding at the Typewriter Co in Lincoln, Nebraska
Look in Queer-Friendly or Queer-Owned Vendor Directories and Local Groups
To find more inclusive vendors, join local groups for queer couples. Search for LGBTQIA+ vendors there, and even ask others for their recommendations. On Reddit, check out r/lgbtqweddings for unfiltered and honest recs.
Another great place to look are LGBTQ+ vendor directories. Equally Wed is one of the most reputable, established LGBTQ+ wedding resources. I’m proud to be listed there, and have Sydney and Hannah’s destination wedding featured in their online magazine.
Also check out Rainbow Wedding Network, Offbeat Wed, and LGBT Weddings for even more vendor listings.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I tell if a wedding vendor is actually queer-friendly?
Read through their website to make sure they’re not using gendered language or just featuring straight couples. Also check a wedding vendor’s public and personal social media to see if what they share on their personal page is consistent with their public-facing values.
What specific questions should an LGBTQ+ couple ask wedding vendors before booking?
When you first meet with a prospective wedding vendor, make a point of asking questions that invite a direct response and clearly signal how they live out their values. Ask things like…
- Have you ever worked with LGBTQ+ couples before?
- Are you comfortable with non-traditional roles in a wedding?
- How do you frame and pose couples without falling back on heteronormative roles?
- How do you handle vendors who aren’t LGBTQ+ inclusive?
Where can I find vetted queer-owned or LGBTQ+-affirming wedding vendor directories?
Equally Wed is one of the most established queer wedding vendor directories. Also take a look at Rainbow Wedding Network, Offbeat Wed, and LGBT Weddings, along with local groups on social media for queer couples.
What I Believe as a Queer Wedding Photographer
As a member of both the LGBTQIA+ and disabled community, I always want to be as clear as possible about what I believe. Queer joy is what I am loudly and proudly about!
Queer love is beautiful. Love is love, and every love story deserves to be celebrated. You are not only welcome here but celebrated here, exactly as you are.
If you’re LGBTQ+, a person of color, an immigrant, neurodivergent, disabled, or part of any marginalized community, you are safe here. If you believe in equity, justice, and that every human deserves to exist fully and freely, I want you here.
You deserve the wedding of your dreams. You deserve vendors who wholeheartedly celebrate your love, no matter how you identify.
If you’re searching for a queer wedding photographer for your celebration, I would be honored to be considered. Whether you’re getting married in Omaha or another destination, check out my weddings page to see what it’s like to work with me.
When you’re ready to talk, head over to my contact form to share your details and tell me everything about your wedding!
